


Dearest

by zerozaki_Zen



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alpha Eren Yeager, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Historical, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armin is mean, Arranged Marriage, Crying Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Hurt, Insanity, Levi Loves Eren Yeager, M/M, Omega Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), One-Sided Attraction, Psychological Drama, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2019-07-03 08:06:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15814863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zerozaki_Zen/pseuds/zerozaki_Zen
Summary: Our parents arranged us to marry. I was 12 when I first saw my husband to be and I fell in love with him.After 6 years, we met again. Of course, I was happy. I knew I love himBut he didn't felt the same. He never felt the same.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first angst-centric fic?
> 
> Anyway enjoy and expect angst!

Chapter 1

When I first met Eren Yeager, my world changed.

I was 8 and I hate the world. My parents, my teachers, my nanny. I hate them all. It started with my parents, they are not around, always at work. And when they come home they will criticize me, pointing every mistake and never my good deeds.

I hate them for home schooling me. I lost my friends because I'm not allowed to got out because I'm the Ackerman's son. Their only son. And an Omega. They treat me like a fragile glass and I hate it. My mother spend more time at home when she discovered my dynamic. She fussed over me and criticizing every move I make that is "unfeminine". I hate her more.

What really blew my fuse is when I discovered that my parents already sold me out to some Alpha. I threw a huge fit but as always, it reached deaf ears. Everything I said reached deaf ears. As the day goes by my tantrum didn't stop, I stopped listening to my teachers, I started destroying things. My mom's favorite vase, my dad's business laptop, my own room. Even with the destruction I made, they never hit me, yes, I suffer from harsh, degrading lectures but my parents never hit me. Of course, they can't afford to put scars on me.

I grew tried of destroying things when my parents immediately replaced them, even the state of my room. To save my own energy, I remained silent. It's easy to disobey everyone when I just walk away and lock myself in my room.

Thankfully, my actions silenced the whole house. For the first time I'm proud of my actions. But I became lonely, always lost in thoughts and finding myself crying silently when I went to bed. I feel so empty.

"Good morning, Levi."

My mother called as I went down the stairs. This is just another day, she will try to make me talk but even if I will she won't hear me out. Glaring always triggered her so I never dare to lock eyes with her. In the end, I just pretended that she doesn't exist.

I ignored her as usual, this was our routine every morning in the past years. But this time she grabbed my hand and practically dragged me to the gardens. 

"I want you to meet someone. Be nice and maybe you'll earn a friend."

I took a glance at her. She's quite happy or excited. I knew this day is the day, the day that I'll meet my Alpha to be. I had the urge to bolt away but I knew it will lead the repetitive lectures and I'm too tried to hear them all over again after three years.

Out in the garden, I saw a man and a woman. They both wear the disgusting smile that my mother wore.

"Mr. and Mrs. Yeager, I would like to introduce my son to you. Levi. Say hi, dear."

I ignored her and turned my attention to the flowers.

"He's just shy." My mother giggles.

"He seems.... down... Well, I think Eren will help." Mrs. Yeager said with confidence. "Eren!"

I turned my attention to the boy running towards us. I never focused on other people from the start of my silent mode. But... "Eren" caught my attention from the moment I saw his eyes. It was... Beautiful..

"Levi why don't you show Eren around the garden?"

Without second thoughts, Eren pulled me and I found myself running.

"Let's go! They will talk about boring stuff again!" Eren laughs.

When we finally stopped, Eren got distracted by a butterfly. I stared at him, thinking how can he be so happy like this. Maybe his parents must have loved him.....

"Are you okay?" 

I didn't knew he was asking me until we are face to face.

"Why are you sad?"

I can't find myself talking, it's been so long.

"It's Okay."

Out of nowhere I felt arms hold around me. Eren was hugging me. I remained frozen, not sure what to do. Eren must have sensed it because he guided my hands around him.

"My friend told that if someone is sad and they can't talk about it, the better solution is a hug!"

He held me tighter and that's when I felt my own tears. I never been hugged as far as I can remember. I never thought that a simple action can make me feel safe and wanted.

"We are going to get married, we have to help each other okay?" 

Eren loosen the hug, giving distance but not letting go. His other hand wiped my tears away.

When the tears stopped he asks, "Are you feeling more okay now?"

I just nodded, with a handkerchief I wiped away the traces of my weakness. The last thing I want is to let my parents see me cry like low life.

"Your garden is so beautiful."

Eren got distracted again and I find myself smiling as he poke a ladybug. 

We spend the day together and I greatly enjoyed Eren's company. He would talk nonstop and our conversation is always one sided since I'm not ready to talk to him yet. But some day I can bring myself to talk again for Eren.

The day ended and I waved good bye to him with a little smile. When their carriage is out of sight, my mother poke me.

"You seem to have a great time."

It was not a question so I 'ignored' her and went to my room. 

I lay in bed, repeating the recent events in my head. 

Eren was so nice and understanding. He never got mad at me for not talking to him, he always ask for my opinion even when he's aware that I won't reply. 

Eren was not bad.

Days passed and my mood changes drastically as my mother noted but I ignored her. I knew though that it has to do with Eren. For the first time I'm excited on something. I want to see Eren again but then I overheard from my dad's office that Eren will be entering the university to be a doctor. I tried to understand that he will be busy and I won't be able to see him but it is quite frustrating.

Years passed, I grew up but old habits die hard. The silent treatment went on and my relationship with my parents were the same. But there is one change that turned my world upside down. I love Eren.

The fondness at first turned to something more as I grew older and I found my Omega to like my future husband. I never met Eren but between those years we wrote letters and my feelings grew. And for the first time I silently thank my parents for arranging our marriage.

I stand in front of the mirror and checked my clothes. I want to be presentable when I finally meet Eren again. It's been years and it's hard to hide my excitement. 

I'm talking once again, only to myself to prepare for this day. I attended all my lessons so I won't be left out and I will be in the same page as Eren in intellect. I did that for Eren.

I waited his arrival in the sun room. I can't believe that I'm nervous, my heart is pounding in my chest I think it'll explode.

"Hey, Levi!" 

I froze at the cheerful voice that rang in the air. I watched as Eren closed the door and joined me in the small round table.

"How are you? You look great!"

Eren grew up extraordinarily good. He's handsome with his chocolate hair brushed up, his blinding smile, tall built and his emerald eyes. My poor heart.

"I'm fine, you?"

I replied. I've been waiting for this moment. To finally talk to him.

"I'm good," then Eren's cheerful aura fades. He looks around and when he makes sure that one else is in the room, he let out an annoyed groan as he lean back on his chair.

"I can't... do this."

My world stopped.

"Look, I know you hate your parents for setting us up, so do I. So can we do casual? And I hope we are in the same boat here. We are right?"

I didn't know what he means but I nodded weakly.

"Okay, so, I love another Omega. And we have to help each other in order to get away from this mess."

I stared at him. I didn't expect this. I... I...

"Okay..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Eren are you crazy?!"Armin exclaimed almost spitting his tea on my face. He quickly took a napkin and composed himself.

"What's so crazy about that?" asked. Taking a sip on my tea, I watch the birds landed on the bird bath. The two birds splash at each other. It is a great day to have a cup of tea with the one you love in the gardens.

Looking back at Armin, I caught him staring at me like I was joking. He must have saw the seriousness in my eyes because after a few seconds, he surrender. "You seriously want me and this 'Levi' to meet?"

"Yeah, and what's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong?! Eren, he is your faïence!" Armin slammed his fist on the table. The tea from the cups jumped at the impact.

"He is but we're in the same boat, he hates his parents for setting us up and he loves someone else too."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is very nice and I think he is smaller than you!"

"Let's change the subject, this topic is making me uncomfortable." 

Armin held his head up like a diva. Sometimes I hate how he acts like a snob with his puffy dress. I don't like this Armin, I like the Armin that I met in college. The one who doesn't act like a sophisticated Omega and the one who rather wore a plain shirt and nerd glasses. I can't blame Armin though, I knew all of this is nothing but a show. He said to me that he hates acting like a perfect Omega but he has too or his parents like flip.

I tried to think another topic to talk about. During the process of thinking, my eyes drew at the long straws blond.

"When are you going to cut your hair?"

"You don't like it?"

"I...."

It's not that Armin is not attractive with long hair but too me I like his short hair better. Now that I thought about it Levi also had long raven hair. It was not odd for a male Omega to have long hair, however, it is so hard to tell that a certain Omega is actually a male which is why I prefer them with short hair.

"If you don't like it then bare with me, my mom like it a lot... I can't can't do anything with it now I'm home." I watch Armin as he tries to flip his back like it was a burden.

"I understand.... So, you got a new Butler?"

"Yeah, his name is Erwin. I think he's not half bad."

"He looks like the usual calm and collected Butler." I said i n boredom as I watched Erwin from the window.

"... He's not half bad..."

It's my turn to stare at Armin, somehow his words means more than normal.

*****

"So, how did it go, Master Levi?"

I almost groan at Petra's antics. She's the new maid in the house, the only maid who reached my cleaning standards enough to clean my room. Usually, I clean my room by myself but now I have her. However she practically doesn't grasped the idea that I don't talk to anyone in the house and she kept talking to me.

"I heard that he was a real hotie."

I rolled my eyes at her, watching her in my mirror as she fix my bed. I really want to shout at her to shut up or simply drop the topic because my heart can't take it and I can't afford to cry in front of somebody. 

I never expected.... What am I even thinking? Surely, Eren found someone much better while in college. I doubt that he even remembered our first meeting. Maybe all this time, it was just me... What's more painful is he wants my help to stop the marriage, our marriage. I thought when this day will come, I'll finally be happy.... why did everything end up this way? Not to mention he wanted me to meet the Omega who stole his heart.... Why I am being tortured like this?

I lean back at my chair, trying to blink away the forming tears. Distracting myself, I eyed all the expensive makeups in front of me. What's the use of these when the one I love already loved someone? Throwing them will be the only solution. Nodding to myself, I pick each item, opening it up and throwing all its contents in the bin near my table.

That took Petra's attention. "Did something happened?"

I watch her face fell in the mirror. Still, I'm glad she didn't stopped me but she cringe when I broke each lipstick before throwing them. They're are useless to me now.

Petra waited until I threw the last item before taking out the trash. She looked down at all the ruined items before looking at me.

"Something did happened."

I ignored her and reached for the scissor. I didn't notice how long my hair got, I really look like a female which is revolting. Why I am so stupid to think that Eren might like it? I took half of my raven hair and cut it without care.

"Master!"

My breath hitch when Petra grabbed my wrist, stopping me from cutting any further. I glare at her, before I could shove her away she spoke once again.

"Let me help you."

That completely too me off guard but I try to don't show it. I end up giving the scissor to her. I can almost feel her positive vibes, she's probably happy that I finally give in to her after months of ignoring her.

"You want it short?" She asked, draping a blanket over my shoulders to keep the hair away.

I didn't do anything to answer her question but I knew she knows the my answer when she looked into my eyes in the mirror.

"Short it is."

She cut my hair in silence and I greatly thank her for it but the silence didn't last.

"Lord Eren will visit again on Sunday and I think he'll love your new hair."

I doubt it. People didn't want to judged as gay just because they are married to a male Omega. That is why male Omegas had long hair, wore female clothes and act like one. Even now, I hated my long hair, this uncomfortable puffy dress, and acting like a damn girl. But I set aside my hate and discomfort for Eren... All my efforts went to waste...

Still, I can't bring myself hate the only person that I love. I should just accept that fact that he found someone better and I should be happy... But why does it hurt so much? My heart aches so painfully I'm falling apart.

"And done!"

I heard Petra cheers and I looked myself in the mirror. 

Not. Short. Enough.

Taking matters to myself, I pulled out the razor in the small cabinet of my table and shaved the back of my head starting on my nape.

"Oh! I see! Let me help!"

I'm glad she volunteered because if I keep this up my arms will tried off.

"You want an undercut? I think it will suite you!"

Can't seem to understand why she's even excited in the first place. But I silently thank her for helping me out. 

After a long meticulous shaving and final touches, Petra finally announced that it is done.

"Oh! Master forgive me but you're so handsome!"

I stared at myself in the mirror. Petra must have parted my bangs on side without me noticing. Turing side view, I saw a clean undercut. She really over worked herself but I'm not complaining, my head fells so light and it is refreshing.

"Lord Eren will surely loved it!"

... I doubt it....


	3. Chapter 3

"Oh, my God!"

I like the way her face mortified at my new appearance. Not only that I got my hair cut but I wore a simple dress shirt, pared with black slacks. No makeup, no accessories. The only thing that stand out on me is my cravat.

She stared at me, jaw dropped. It took her almost minute to compose herself again. "Levi, dearest. I barely recognized you."

Not caring for her opinion, I walked passed her. I have literally memorized all her lectures and I don't want to hear it all over again like a broken record.

"Lord Eren will be coming over today."

My mother's words made me stop. Today? I thought his visits will be on Sundays

"We can still fix you up," my mother approached me, cupping my cheek. I tensed, backing away in contact. 

I knew my parents never hurt me physically nor they touched me. It was so weird that my mother tries it after many years of being cold to me.

I stared at her like she was the odd one out before going to the sun room.

I sat on my usual spot, watching as the maids set the table. Petra knew me too well because automatically set down the tray of tea. Nodding as an acknowledgement, she went and prepare the sweets. While waiting, I helped himself with a cup of black tea.

During the times when I'm almost at the cliff, my black tea was my only salvation. It was just a simple drink but it was to stop my own suicidal thoughts. It always helped me calm down and think for a moment and enjoy the little things in life. I might be deprived from love and attention but I'm lucky to have a soft bed, good food and this tea.

The table was set and I've already consumed three cups of tea. My mind running none stop, what if Eren got disgusted of my new appearance? I have no idea what to do. Perhaps the only solution is to pretend that their is nothing different on me. 

My thoughts were cut short when I heard the door opened and closed.

Eren is here.

I slowly looked up, mentally preparing myself at my Alpha's reaction.

Eren was there half way to his step. Frozen. Mouth open. Eyes wide staring back at me.

I lowered my head. Biting down my lower lip, hoping that the tears won't shed. What was I thinking?! Eren will be visiting regularly and I let my depression get into my head-

"Wow."

I perk up a little, only to find Eren staring at me. Awe struck.

"I-I mean! You look good, wow..." Eren awkwardly straighten and took his seat. 

I sat down. Eyes down at my tea. Did Eren just complement me or it was me hearing things. I fiddle with my cup, not risking another glance at the Alpha in front of me. 

The silence was very awkward before Eren spoke again. "Hey, I didn't mean gawk at you. I was just surprise- I mean! I didn't expect that you would cut your hair and change your clothing- I.... What I was trying to say is, you look beautiful."

I glance up at him and saw him staring again. I straighten but averted his gaze. No matter what I do I can't stop myself from blushing. Eren complemented by new look. He liked it. He thinks I'm beautiful. My heart might explode.

"Thank you..." It almost came out as a whisper. 

"Not used to complements in your new look?" Once again Eren gave me one of his beaming smile.

His smile is contagious because I was able to smile, while nodding.

"Did your parents allowed you to do this?" Eren asked playfully.

"No." With that Eren laughs. Somehow, I feel proud of my decisions.

"What did your mom looked like when she saw you? I have to know! It must be hilarious!"

"It was. She was mortified." Can't help but laugh a little.

"Man! You're on a roll!" Eren booms out, laughing.

I can't measure the joy I'm currently feeling right now. But I knew it won't last long.

Eren manage to compose himself. "Man, you're awesome. I wished Armin will be a little like you."

My face fell. Here we go again, the conversation will always return to Armin. I gulped down my tea in one go. Fuck, etiquettes and manners! I'll give anything to stop my chest from aching. Our first conversation last Sunday was nothing but Armin this, Armin that. It hurt so bad...

"Eren, why did you visit me today?" I tried to cut in before Eren won't stop talking about that damned Armin. Sigh, here goes my mouth again.

"I got an idea." Eren straighten. "We can't stop this arrangement if we pretend to hate each other. I think both of our parents will overlook it."

I nodded. Beside I can't bring myself to hate Eren. All I felt is sadness, I don't want to stop our marriage. I knew I am selfish but what I can do? I have no power on my own house.

"I realized that both of our family hate each for years! And today our parents wants to end it by arrange marriage."

I nodded. I never knew that my family actually had a feud with the Yeagers.

"Levi, I'm asking you a huge favor." Eren beg. "I want you to get the Survey Corps project from your Dad."

My eyes widen. He wants me to steal documents from my father?

"Will make it show like my father stole the documents and they will fight and stop the marriage."

"E-Eren, I don't think- " I stop midway. I want Eren to like me and trust me. "Will it work?"

"Maybe, I'm not sure but I did a back ground check. The reason of our families feud was stealing projects and ideas, the competition was intense and I think this will flue their anger once again."

Eren's words echoed on my head as I rummage through my father's office. Never stepped into this room after 10 years. I knew this is a huge risk, my father never hit me but now I can foresee it. 

If. I don't get caught.

I was on my knees searching through the lower cabinets in my father's desk. I opened the last cabinet and found my goal.

"Finally," I reached out the sealed envelope. Folding it flatly and securing it on my back pocket.

I stand, fixing everything I touch, making sure that I didn't came here.

"Who are you?"

I froze. My father saw me. I straighten the papers on my hands before placing them. I slowly turn around, preparing myself for my first beating.

"Levi? Is that you?" 

My father was wearing the same shock expression as I am.

"I didn't know you cut your hair and change your clothes."

I stand stiffly. My eyes quickly searching for an escape. My father seem to notice it and he step aside from the door.

I speed walk out not daring to look back. That was not what I expected, I thought he will beat me for sneaking in. I thought....

Dinner came and I was forced to attend it with my parents because my mom wants to fill my ears with lectures.

I keep the documents safe under my bed until Eren will visit again this Sunday.

"Look at him! His complete look is a disgrace!"

And here we go again.

"I don't see the problem here." My father said casually.

I perked up and stared at him.

"What?!"

"Your son is man and he will always be."

"He is an Omega!"

Groaning, I take my leave. They didn't even notice me leave. Before I disappear, I looked back at my parents. They are still bickering and I have no idea where each one stand. My father looked at me and for the first time it wasn't disappointment I see in his eyes. I smile at him, only a little before going to my room.

I was on my bed, holding the envelope on my chest. I smile painted on my lips.

Eren won't be disappointed.


	4. Chapter 4

It is Eren's time for visits in which the Omega will pass over the documents. It was nerve wreaking to wait until Sunday came mainly, because Levi is worried that his father will notice that one of the documents were missing.

From the moment the doors opened, Levi's face fell. Eren quickly went to him with the new company in tow. "Levi, I brought Armin with me so that it won't be suspicious if someone saw you hand over an envelope."

Levi remained silent. His eyes travels back in fort from Eren and to the blonde Omega until he fully stared at the new acquittance.

The Omega had beautiful long yellow hair and his big blue eyes almost make him look like an expensive doll in the window of a toy shop. 

So... this is Armin... he's not even that pretty. Levi thought, just to keep his emotions at bay. He can't let himself think about negative thoughts especially now Eren is right in front of him. He must not show anything.

The room is filled with awkward silence when both new comers take their seats. Levi can't blame then because he didn't even knowledge their arrival, he didn't even stand to pay respect.

"So, Levi, right?" Armin started. Eying Levi from head toe, the blonde Omega almost laugh at the raven's overall look. A plain dress shirt and what is that clothe on his neck? Armin wants to point it out as a bib but stopped himself for he knew Eren would be mad but he will surely crack that joke when they leave the house. "I can see you need more training with your manners."

"Armin!" Eren almost shouts.

"What? He's the one who lacks respect." Armin glared at raven. He noted Levi's awfully short hair, it was obvious that Eren is into short hair. Armin will do anything to keep Eren's attention to him.

With an annoyed growl, Eren turned to Levi. "I'm sorry about that, he's just under the weather. But Armin is very friendly."

With that, Armin puffed and took a sip of his tea.

Levi just nodded. He's not in the mood to talk now that he witness that this Armin has some venom on his mouth. Levi can't afford to get into a fight with Eren's boyfriend. Plus, he doesn't want Eren to see that side of him.

Levi remained in silence and just shake his head or nod when he was spoken to. It was painful. It was just a 30 minute talk but Levi felt like dying and it took his all stop showing any emotions on his face or body language. The way Eren looked and interact with Armin is too sincere and true. 

After a few moments, Levi can't take it any longer. Clearing his throat, he pulled out the envelope and passed it to Armin.

Eren took the sign and stands up, "Well, I think we should be going now. Right, Armin?"

"Yeah, right." Armin trace the envelope with his hand while he glares at Levi.

Levi stared at the other Omega. Annoyed. 

What's with that look? Does he really want a fight that bad? Levi ignored the blonde and stand from his chair. He nodded to Eren and left without a word.

Armin let out a sigh when he was finally inside the carriage. He scooted closer to Eren as the vehicle moved out of the Ackerman property. He is desperate to tell his joke. 

"Hey, saw that cloth around his neck?" Armin giggle.

"Yeah, it is-"

"It was hilarious! Not to mention that his height made him look like a baby wearing a bib-"

"Armin."

"Yeah?"

"Stop it." 

Armin paused at the seriousness on Eren's words. Making sure not to push anymore buttons, he moved on the other side. He looked at the Alpha from his spot. Now that the blonde saw Levi in person, he started to get worried, Levi is just too pretty and his short hair earned points on the Alpha.

Armin will make sure that the marriage won't happened.

*****

Levi stared at his reflection, imaging Eren praising him for getting the documents and informing him that their plan worked. It's been a week now, and Levi is anticipating to finally hear the news tomorrow.

It was sad to think that their marriage will not happened but Levi will relish every moment that he had with his Eren.

His Eren. Oh, how Levi hope that it will be one day.

A knock from his door stopped his running thoughts.

"Master Levi!" Petra's voice chimed. "Your father is asking for you!"

Levi didn't waste any second. His father must have got the news that the Yeager's once again stole one of the Ackerman's prized projects and wants to call off the marriage. It hurts his heart but he wants Eren to be happy, it would take awhile to accept it though but Levi can handle it. Just for Eren.

He fixed himself and went to his father, Petra informed him that his father is currently in his office. Levi can imagine the old Alpha already sorting out the cancelation papers.

Levi knocked before entering the spacious office.

His father was already looking at him. Arms crossed on his chest, his stromy-blue eyes drilled deep in Levi's soul. 

The door closed on its own and Levi almost yelp at the loud click. But it was a good excuse to avert his eyes from his father. 

"Levi, my boy." His father started and Levi did his best not tremble. Then, anger raised on his voice. "Does this look familiar?"

Levi watched as his father threw the contents of a very familiar envelope. He watched each sheet as it falls down on the floor.

He can't believe it. It was the Survey Corps project files. Levi was sure he took the right envelope but how did it return to his father? How is it possi-

Levi felt a harsh pain on his right cheek. 

He hit him.

His father hit him.

All the walls he built went to waste. Tears fell. He's silently cried, in front of his father.

"To think that my own son will be the snake." His father growls at him. "Think again boy, no matter what you'll do, you'll never stopping this marriage."

Levi was trembling in fear and he can't stop the tears. So, he ran, as fast as he could not caring what will his father still have to say. He was panting when he reached his room but he didn't stop, he locked and blocked his door, closed every opened window before hiding himself under the covers of his bed. He hugged his pillow in search for some comfort.

His cheek hurt but what hurts more is his heart.

He failed Eren.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be studying! What am I doing?!

I fidget on my seat, darting my eyes anywhere just to avoid Ms. Ackerman's gaze. Instead of the petite raven, I had Mrs. Ackerman as my date.

"Please forgive my son. He was ill and needed to be treated immediately."

With that looked up to her and she gave me reassuring smile. I tried to smile back, ignoring the chills that creep on my spine.

Her excuse for Levi's absence confirmed my fears. They knew.

Though, I'm not sure if they knew that I was the one who asks Levi to steal the documents.

I don't really know how it happened. I don't believe that Levi gave me an empty envelope, I knew he won't do that. We are a team and we both want to get out of this. Why would he pass Armin an empty envelope?! Maybe he got the wrong one? And that's how his parents knew?

"Levi is a sweet boy. Please take care of him."

My thoughts were cut short by Mrs. Ackerman's voice. I nodded, pretended that I was actually listening.

"He's a man with a few words but he is bright yet stubborn." Mrs. Ackerman took a sip of her tea before continuing. "Eren, what do you think of my son?"

"Well, I think Levi is a wonderful person. And he is beautiful." I replied, internally cringing at my lame words.

"That... He is." Mrs. Ackerman shakes her head and straighten. "You see there might be some changes."

"What?"

"Levi will be under some treatment for a while. We are not sure when he will get well, don't worry his condition can be corrected, so we talk to your parents and decided...." Mrs. Ackerman paused.

I held my breath as I wait for her to finish.

"We decided to let you marry Mikasa. My niece."

My mouth fell open. How could these people do this?! And what did they do to Levi?!

"I know you are fond of Levi but don't worry, those two looked alike so I think it won't be much of an adjustment." She humored and I almost gag.

How could she-they?! I screamed internally. They just literally pass us out like dolls! This is really getting out of hand and I can't take it!

Why can't this people just give up the hate and move on?! Why do they have to drag us, the new generation to their god damned problems?!

Not only that how could Levi's parents do this to him?! I can't believe that Mrs. Ackerman... Ugh.

I stand up abruptly, startling Mrs. Ackerman during the process. "Excuse me, Mrs. Ackerman." I gave her one of my signature smiles. "But I must leave."

I turn towards the doors, not giving her a chance to say a single word. Without turning back, I enter my carriage and sort my thoughts. I tried to hold out my anger issues for years but today, I think it's an exception.

I hate this.

I looked out of the window, hoping that the view will cool my head off.

The town is busy as usual. Kids are running on the side, stalls of products in full display and the train is waiting for passengers to fill.

I blink several times when a sudden idea rushed to me as I watched as the last passenger stepped in and the train gave its farewell tune.

****

"Eren no! This is crazy!"

"Come on, Armin," I whisper-shout. "This is our only freedom. We can't be free in this town where we are tied by our parents. And besides, we are both adults with degrees! We can survive this!"

"Eren, do you have any idea how crucial this is?!" Armin bites back at me. "Shame on our family! What will the neighborhoods think? What would the whole town think?! Eloping is for the poor, not for the nobles!"

I lean back in the chair in disbelief. I don't understand why Armin doesn't want this, he said it himself that he hates acting like a noble and be all high but he is doing it now!

"Eren. I'm sorry but... I love my family..."

I blinked at him. He chooses me over family. Well, not shit. Fuck this. I glared at him like he was not my lover.

"No, don't give me that look. You see even if my family is strict, they support me and... and my grandfather..." He took my hand on him but I pulled away.

"No, I understand." I sigh.

Armin looked up at me, confusing on his blue eyes.

"Your family is different from mine. It's natural that you choose them but Armin I still want to choose freedom even if you don't support me." It hurts but it will hurt more to spend my life tied down on the wants of my parents.

"Eren, listen. What you are planning is dangerous and I don't want you to make a mistake, that is why I don't what you to do this!"

"Life is full of mistakes, Armin! And I don't want to live without them!"

"Eren! You need to think this through!" Armin stumps, his face is red with anger. I gazed at him, sighing in defeat.

"Armin, I love you. I really do. But you changed into this noble puppet." I sigh. I've been thinking about this a lot before I sleep and as days go by, I noticed that the Armin I knew and loved is gone.

"What are you talking about?" He laughs awkwardly. "I'm still the same me."

I stared at him. I love him but I save some love for myself. I smiled at him. Armin looked at me for a moment, it was simple eye contact but we both knew. He looked down in defeat crying while I stand up and leave.

*****

Dinner came in and I found myself on the dining table with my parents. I want heartbroken not because I left Armin but because I will never see the Armin I knew before. I hurt but I must let go in order to move forward. And I hope Armin will.

"Poor Levi. Mrs. Ackerman said that he was ill." My mom inserts during the meal. And that when I realized how much I owe Levi. I was the one who told him to steal the documents and he didn't blow me up. I must take responsibility.

"As his Alpha to be, I must visit him. Where is he staying?"

"Oh, about that Eren. Did Mrs. Ackerman forgot to mention to you that-"

"-No, she informed me but I think I must pay my respect with Levi. Wish him a fast recovery." I smiled politely.

"You're such a dear." My mom praise. Now I'm regretting leaving, but I must and I knew she will understand. Well, maybe. "But I still don't think it will be appropriate."

I stared at her before looking back at my father, hoping that he can summarize the whole thing.

My father rubbed his temple in annoyance before saying. "If you don't want to get married to a madman then you should marry Mikasa Ackerman."

"What?!"

"Oh honey, Levi is not that ill." My mother rubbed his arm, trying her best to cover the truth.

"I've been meeting with Levi for the past few weeks and I can prove that he is not crazy!" I slammed my fist on the table. It is not rare that noble families tend to send their wayward children in an asylum but god damn it, I'm a doctor for fuck sake!

"They're his parents, Eren. They knew what is best."

"Bullshit!"

"Eren!"

"I won't marry Mikasa, I'll marry Levi because I knew he is not crazy."

"Eren! Get a hold of yourself and think! We don't know how long Levi will be staying in that place!" My mother argued.

"Mom, I have a degree for a reason. Even if you think his crazy, I can handle it."

"Eren. We just want what is best for you."

"No. I'm an adult, not a child. I made a decision and it is final. The treaty won't change anyway, right? Then I will marry Levi." With that, I stand up and walk out.

I grit my teeth at my own frustration. It was all my fault why Levi ended up in an asylum. I have to get him out of there. This time, we are getting out of this together.


	6. Chapter 6

Levi

In my first day, I didn't expect that the asylum can be this horrible. Not horrible like dirty, mad doctors or something but 'horrible' as a prison. Not the prison anyone thought about but worst. You are imprisoned on your own head. Why can't you? They fucking locked you up in a disgustingly white room with nothing to occupy your mind!

What is the point of getting "fix" here?! They just making everyone here crazy on purpose!

On day one, I flitched at the sudden high pitch screams of other patients. I tend to covered my ears when another one joins in and the screams turned into a deafing screech. The sounds bounced back at the plain white walls, it continued for hours and it was torture.

But there are days that were suspiciously peaceful. With nothing to do I tend to leaning on the wall, cross my legs and looked at the blue sky on the tiny window of my room. It was high and had bars, just a like a normal prison. The nurses called this reflection hour, which is ridiculous. Thinking of ways to espace didn't even cross my mind when I did nothing and eyed the window but it was before. Now is different.

It only took me two days to finally loose my wits with all the shit they want to put up to me. I stop taking the pills that supposed to "help me", fought back at some nurse and here I am. Stuck on the same stupid fucking room and in my own head. Frustration, anger, rage all those things he tried hide just for Eren. For fucking Eren!

Yet I will always think of him. What is he doing? Is he doing well without me? Is he with Armin? But thoughts about him always cut short as days go by and it was the help of-

" LEEEEVVIIIIIII!!!!!"

I can't help the sadistic grin that pulled on my lips as my name bounced back on the building, over powering other patients cries and screams.

It was Hange. Hange Zoe, the one and only person who dares to approach me during meals in the cafeteria. After the outburst of my bottled up emotions, I quickly made a name in the mad house. The nurses cursed me as the little demon, I don't give shit. Being in the institution had it perks, I was able to express myself freely and no one gives a damn. There are rules but its understandable if one breaks it, unlike the rules I had in my own home. After some time in the asylum, I realized that my "home" was the real mad house.

I glared at anyone who stared at me, I shout at the nurses for an outlet of my rage towards my mother. And there's Hange. 

"Isn't it amazing here?!" She cheered.

It was a simple sentence but I knew what she actually meant. The world outside is nothing but people wearing masks. All fake. But here, nothing is fake. 

Hange is too smart for her own good and that's the reason why she's in the institution. She experiments and invent things, at first thought one would never think twice that she is crazy but I was able to sit down with her and listen to her perspective in life. That's what wake me up from the world I've previously know. My world is not just around Eren.

I jump off my bed and waited until the nurse open my door for lunch. As the door opened, I gave my nurse a smile. Farlan. The only nurse in the institution that never think that were broken, in fact he thinks that we are all okay and what's broken is society. 

"You heard Hange?" Farlan smirked. 

"Yeah, let's get this shit going." I grinned.

 

Eren

"I'm sorry, sir. But patients are not allowed to have guest during the treatment. We make sure that they are all well when they meet visitors." The nurse tries said calmly. 

I want to passed those doors and take Levi out with me. The little Omega didn't deserve any of this. After years of studying medicine, I knew too well how they treat their wayward patients. They brake them.

"I know this is for safety measurements but I'm a doctor and my Omega is in there. I think I have the very right to treat him, let alone touch him." I countered.

The nurse looked worried, avoiding my intense stare. I have no choice but to use my tramp card.

I stepped forwards, towering over the nurse, letting my scent known who is the boss between us. "My dear," I started, tried to so sweet but deadly. "Levi Ackerman will soon to be my Omega and since I'm a doctor, I have the ability and the right to brake him."

"B-But-"

"ENOUGH!" I did. I don't like using my Alpha voice to put those lower dynamics in place but I have no choice. I need to get Levi out of here.

The nurse took a few steps back and my Alpha self is happy to see her tremble under my power. Leaning to her, I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. "You did well, I'll talk your superior after this don't worry."

With that, I left her trembling on the entrance. As I walk through the building, I feel high and mighty, the nurses around never dares to approach me and told me to get out. But as I continue, I didn't know I made a huge mistake. I didn't know what Levi's room number is.

Well, shit.

Because of me already setting the charts of being high and mighty in the building. My Alpha won't agree to ask questions on my Omega's whereabouts. I agreed because to be honest, this is really embarrassing. After some time, I decided just to follow my instincts. It is quite an challenge to trace Levi's scent with the other Omega's scent is all over the place.

I tried to fucos on Levi's, as I walk on every door. I can hear the curses behind each doors, others even let out a deafing scream while others were laughing at their hearts content.

The place is very unsettling. Even as I doctor, I don't want to stay here and I don't want Levi to stay here. 

As I walk, I begin to pick up a familiar scent. Following the sweet scent I came face to face the door I think the little omega is in. 

"Shit! Fucking shit!"

I heard before my hand touched the door knob. I sounds like Levi but not the usual timid raven I know.

"Fuck this whole shit!"

I know that these type of language is improper, especially if it came from an Omega's lips but damn Levi had some fire in him. I found this amusing and attractive. Okay, guilty, I get easily fall in love with rule breakers. Another reason why I loved Armin back then.

I can't help but grin when I reach the door knob and.... Locked. Well fuck. So fucking stupid!

Levi must have heard the click because he threw something on the door, followed by the painful 

"GO AWAY!"

That sounded bad. "Levi, it's me!"

There was a long pause on the other side of the door, leaning closer I heard Levi's quick breaths. This is not good.

"Levi! Listen! It's okay, calm down. Stay with me okay? Inhale. Exhale." I tried to assist him in the best way that I can. I confirmed my own stupidity now. Of course, Levi doesn't want me to see him this way. But what's done is done, I just have to make it clear that my impression towards him never changed.

After a few minutes, Levi is finally calming down. 

"Levi, I'm taking you out of here. Stay back, I'm breaking the door!"

"No-"

I break it with a kick. The door fell from his hinges and I heard Levi screamed. I stepped in and about to apologize when

The person on the bed didn't have the raven locks that I used to know, his skin tone is not that beautiful milk white. I sniffed the air, the room and the person's clothes smelt like Levi but-

"You're not Levi."


	7. Chapter 7

I found myself staring back at the picture of Levi Ackerman, he had this long raven hair and wore one those fancy clothes. Somehow deep my gut, I trully missed it. My silky well maintained hair, my decent clothing but asual I pushed them away before they cloud my mind again. That version of me is long dead. Yet the memories are still fresh like everything happened like it was yesterday, when it was actually had been two years.

It was two years ago, Hange and I were able to escape the madhouse with the help of Farlan. He lend us his house in exchange for taking care of his cousin, Isabel. Farlan seemed desperate, letting two crazy people to look out for his sick cousin. But I didn't mind, Isabel is a great kid and I loved Farlan for trusting us. For simply believing that were not mad.

As the days go by, the rations didn't last long and Farlan's wages can't sustain as all. I decided to look for a job but since I'm an Omega, I'll likely fall on a brothel if Hange didn't persuade me on stealing. That piece of shit knew her stuff, she taught me everything. 

And here I am now, looking at my own missing poster with a handsome reward. Yet no can recognize with my short hair, my intense glare and the smell of  Beta. No one knew. Then news came out that Levi Ackerman betrayed his own family and committed suicide on the asylum. I just laugh at them. I moved on now. I'm Rivaille, the thug of the underground. 

Farlan got fired on his job when he whacked a patient who tries to strangle him. 

Hange did some dealing while Farlan and I were on the streets, hands quicker than lighting as we dash through the crowds and meeting on the darkest alley. Keeping cash, burning whatever informations and reselling the wallets.

Pulling my hood on, I moved towards the alley. Avoiding the drunks on the side. I want to leave the as soon as possible, out of the filthy place. Farlan's house became my home and Farlan became my husband as much as I want to gag. But we played the part only in front of Isabel because she kept shipping us, calling me mom and Farlan her dad.

Reaching the door, I quickly got inside, slammed it shut and locking it. Sighing, I pulled my cape off, disgusted by the sweat on my skin.

"Mom!" 

I turned towards the voice and found Isabel running towards me. "Hi, Izzy."

She hugged my legs and gave me the biggest smile that I always loved. As much as I want to carry her frail body on my arms, I don't want my sweat on her. 

"Can I see what you get?" She asked, always wanted to look at the wallets first.

"Of course, I'll just take a bath okay."

When I got out of the bathroom, Izzy is sorting the walltes by colors and piled up the cards and other things on the side. She had a calling card on her hands and her cute brows farrows as she tries to read it. 

"Jeger? Mom! This one is very hard!" Isabel shows the card. She's a great kid, smart even, she's a fast leaner and very curious at things.

"Let me see." I took the card when the saw the familiar words, a wash of nostalgic memories fell on top of me. Images of Eren's face popped on my head, my heart raced at the once forgotten feeling from the Alpha.

"Mom? Why are you crying?" 

I snapped at Isabel's words just then I notice that I was crying terribly. I quickly wipe my eyes but the tears kept on coming as well as the constant stamp on my chest.

"Mom?" 

I looked down at Isabel and that was my biggest mistake. Her big green eyes reminded me of him, it made me understand why I loved Isabel so much when I first saw her. I remembered that I was the one who told her to call me mom because I assumed that she was my child from Eren. I fell on my knees and hug Isabel as tight as I can. I realized how mad I was, how much I pretend that things were fine. How much I lied to myself.

Later than night, my insomnia got worst. Usually I'm already asleep before Hange came home from her dealings.

"Levi, you're still awake?" Hange whispered shout, careful with the sleeping child on the next room.

"Hange, do you think I'm crazy?" Levi asked absentmindedly.

"What? After two years out of the madhouse and earning on your own? Nah." 

"I was making my own world." 

"What happened? Why are thinking this way?" Hange sat in front of me, eyes locked.

I sheeply gave her the calling card. She knew my story, heck, she knew me even if I had my facade on.

She studies the card before I saw the gleam on her eyes. "Eren Yeager, your hubby! You stole from your hubby!"

She humored but I was too distracted to be upset. I dig deep, trying to recall him, his pretty face on the crowed. I can't remember.

"You knew what his wallet looked like?" Hange started digging on the wallets, she sniffed the calling card before proceeding to her tasked. It took only a minute for Hange to locate the said wallet and she gave it to me.

I stared at the leather object on my hands like it is going to eat me. The noise from Hange's feet brought me to reality and I gained the courage to open his wallet.

My breath hitched when I first saw Armin's picture. It hurts so much. The last thing I want is to see his wedding pictures with Mikasa. I found myself crying again due to the hard fact that no matter how much I bury the truth, Eren still loved Armin no matter what. I was tearing up shamelessly in front of Hange. It took a just a second for the shame to fade and it was replaced by anger. I took Armin's picture and ripped it to shreds.

"I'll fucking kill you, you fucking whore." 

"Levi." Hange placed her hand on my knee and I froze in place, realizing what I said. Here I am again, trying to mend the truth by getting rid of Armin and assuming that Eren will love me. I cried again, weeping my sorrows away.

"Levi, the solution to sanity is acceptance." Hange rubbed my knee.

I stared down at my hands. If I accepted that I'm insane, is that counted?

****

Another day in the crowded market. I lowered my hood, making sure not a single soul can see my face. I waited until there until I can make out a small gap between the number of people on the busy market. That way, I knew where I'll be entering the crowd and exiting. Then a chicken got loose on its cage and that is my queue. 

Swiftly, I passed the crowed with quick hands. I can see my exit, in the dark alleys, just few people with few wallets.

Just a little more.

I gasped as I found myself being pulled away from my exit, from the dark alley. The next thing I knew, it was bright very bright. My hood was removed. I was caught with a painful grip on my wrist, immediately I readied my fist and gritted my teeth. I don't like fighting, I don't like this, I don't like my life, I don't-

My thoughts stopped, my fist didn't land on anything. The world was paused around me as I stared back at those beautiful green eyes.

"I finally found you."


	8. Chapter 8

Levi

We stare at each other, lips zip tight. After another awkward moment, Eren averted his gaze, distracting himself, he looked around the run down house. We are sitting on the dining table both facing each other.

I don't know what he was planning, when I tried to get away from him, he actually let me drag him and I am stupid enough to the lead him to our house. 

"Hello," Isabel started. Staring at Eren with her big green eyes. 

Eren gave her one of his beaming smile. Again, I felt that painful jab on my chest. Seeing that smile again brought back painful memories of the past. A simple reflection of how stupid I was to fall on such a trap. 

"Hello there, my name is Eren and you are?"

"My name is Isabel and this is my mommy." She happily pointed at me. 

"Oh really?" Eren said in awe and the child next to me giggled. 

I felt my heart raced in an instant after hearing Isabel. My breathing quickens and it took my all to stop from running out of the house and hide from the face of the eartg. 

Eren thought I had child, a child that's not his. 

"Not really." Isabel blurted, then this time, my heart skipped a bit. No, not this. I take everything I said, I am willing to take Isabel as my child just to make her stop telling her story. 

"How so?" Eren ask curiously. I want to jump at him and stranggle him, to him stop from asking more and coxing Isabel. But... I did nothing, I just sat there and absentmindedly looking out of the window. 

"Daddy hits mommy a lot. Mommy is a juice drinker, when she drinks too much she walks funny." Isabel giggles. "Daddy, like to play bang bang and it puts rabbits to sleep. One day, mommy and daddy are fighting, I can't sleep because they are shouting. I decided to put them to sleep. BANG! BANG!" I flitched when Isabel imitated a gun with her hands. 

"But they never woke up," Isabel pouted as she crossed her arms against her chest. 

I hated that story. Glancing at Eren, I found him shocked and wide eyed at the child. Yes. I slumped on my chair. We are all insane. Me, Hange, Farlan must have had his dark secrets, I can tell. And Isabel is not an exception...

"Your mommy and daddy are boring, you are very lucky you have another mommy now." 

I perked up at the tone of Eren's voice. The Alpha was playful, furrowing his brows and imitating Isabel with a pout complete with his arms cross. 

"Yes! Because last time when we go to the park, I found a four leave clover!" Isabel jumped on her seat. 

I can't help but smile at the memory. Normal children will throw a tantrum when they can find a four leave clover but Isabel, she works hard in order to find it. She was so happy her green eyes sparkled with joy. 

Time flew as Isabel tells more stories to Eren. The brunet never fails to be resposive during the story telling which motivates the child to tell more. She started telling how I tried to cook only to end up burning it. How we played a prank together by hiding Hange's glasses, how we painted Farlan's face he sleeps. Those were the good days.

In the middle of the story telling, I heard the back door opened. Instinctively, I reached for my dagger, when I saw the familiar ash blonde pop out, I relaxed. 

Farlan, just the person I need. 

Farlan paused midway from the room, mouth open, ready to consume the apple on his hand which I think is stolen. His eyes switched from me to Eren. 

Like a gentleman, Eren rose from his seat and greeted the still frozen man. "Good day sir, my name is-"

"Apple!" Isabel shouted and runs towards her cousin. "Can we share? Please?"

Farlan is completely conflicted, looking at my direction for explanation. 

"Look at the time, it's nap time for Izzy. Farlan can you take your cousin for me?" I said, trying not to stutter. And I don't know why I clarified that he was not my lover and nothing but Isabel's cousin. I feel sick.

"Ahh... Okay." Farlan nodded and scooped the child on his hands and went to her room, closing the door behind them. 

It leaves me alone with Eren. Here's goes nothing...

"Levi-"

"No." I snapped at him. 

Eren was taken aback but he recovered quickly. "No, Levi. Where have you been? How did you escaped? You're family is looking for you!"

I gritting my teeth at the simple recall of my family. One thing, they are not my family Hange, Farlan, and Isabel are my real family. 

"So?" I rolled my eyes. "I'm alive. So, now what?"

"You're alive alright but you are not well. Look I'm not taking you back to your parents if you dont want.. " Eren leaned back, covering his face with hands. "This is all my fault, I shouldn't have risked it. Armin eloped with another Alpha anyway. "

I blinked at him at the news. It's been so long, I suddenly felt old. 

"My mom died... Dad, ran away after the authorities figured out that he is practicing medical services without a license. But I got the house... " Eren laughs, I can see how he tries to hide his sorrows. "Levi, Isabel is a wonderful girl and I think you were a great mother."

For two years, my heart simply ache painfully from the mare image or reminder of Eren Yeager but this time with those simple words, I was able to look into his eyes, not feeling any more pain on my chest. But it didn't last. When I felt the first familiar beats of my heart, the horrible truth is right in front of me again. I still love Eren. 

"Levi, come with me."

"Huh?"

"I know that this is all my fault but I want to make it up to you. Please."

"N-no... Go away... "

"Wait, listen to me. You can bring Isabel of that guy earlier. Or you can work for me! I can offer you accommodation. Just let me make it up for you. "

Eren is practically begging, sucking in air I tried to calm myself. But my head kept spinning. 

"Please, Levi you might hate me but I understand. But do this for the sake of Isabel instead. "

Just like that, my shattered thoughts cleared. 

"Judging by earlier, Isabel is a great kid and she deserves more than this. "

"Y-yes.. " lowering my head I felt ashamed of the house, my work, my myself, everything for not giving a wonderful child like Isabel the life that she deserves. But then on the back of my mind, there is another calling. The calling that I hate the most. "Okay. "

I agreed. For Isabel's sake but am I even sure of it? The other calling kept telling me that I only do this to be with Eren again. 

Lowering my head in defeat, I hugged myself. Eren is onyl doing this because he pitied me. I feel sick.

**Author's Note:**

> About the letters that they sent to each other: Eren didn't read Levi's letter he just let his roommate Jean and Connie to take care of it for the sake of his parent's nagging (note: the letters started when Eren was in uni and same time when he met his loved Omega. I'm saying this now because this won't be revealed in the story line so.... Yeah..


End file.
